What it means to be close when we cannot share every wound
Living life with past trauma means we always walk next to a loved one who hasn’t been through the exact same thing.
It’s why you see the world differently, and they see it differently to you. It can be tough to realise that you both view the world through a lens shaped by your own histories.
Perhaps out of the two of you, you trust humans that little less, though subconsciously.
Perhaps as you walk, you feel anxiety coming up, and your friend is oblivious.
Grief might hit you in that moment, as that café evokes a memory.
Or maybe you are in physical pain and every step is agony, despite medication.
There are many reasons why our inner world is invisible to others, even to those closest to us.
You don’t love them any less for this. Neither they you.
And perhaps this is what it means to be human: to carry invisible pain and equal resilience, and to walk alongside each other knowing we can never fully see the other’s inner world.
The beauty of human connection lies not in knowing all of one another’s life, but in the choice to walk it together all the same.
Sandra Postma
Posted on 22 August 2025 on Substack
Subscribe to my blog Lessons from a Life Shaped By Chronic Illness
Subscribe to my newsletter for writers with chronic illness
Recent Blog Posts
Living A Thousand Lives
Why writing enables us to live the lives chronic illness can’t As a spoonie you often feel like you’re missing out on life. But even before I became ill, when I was around ten years old, I wanted to become an actress. Because – and may I quote myself here -: ‘That way I can…
The Chronic Grief of Chronic Illness
Sometimes healing isn’t about getting better; it’s about making room for life alongside it Having chronic and mental illness isn’t for the faint of heart. Unfortunately, I am faint of heart. Mine is pieced together after having had it repeatedly smashed to the ground by people I trusted explicitly over the last twenty years. Mine…
When Choosing Is Necessary But Feels Impossible
So many ideas, so little time & energy I admit my adhd has a part to play in this, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you related to it as well: the difficulty that comes with choosing. Choosing which story to focus on. Which character to have as a protagonist. Which plot twist. Which ending.…
Leave a Reply