And why real resilience looks different from the viral quotes you see on Instagram
I have overcome. I have left that chapter behind me. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
I’m going to be honest with you: I loathe these phrases. Loathe. Them.
Why?
Because of the reality that is my life, my health, my brain and my whole being.
Because haven’t overcome my health problems. I’m still sick and will remain sick for the rest of my life. That’s what the chronic means in chronic illness: no cure.
I also haven’t left anything behind me. Trauma adds up. One after another cements beliefs, retriggers neural pathways you worked so hard to rewire and changes you fundamentally.
There is no leaving behind. There is only processing and living life the best way you can despite all that has happened to you.
Whether you think about it every day or hardly at all, you stay changed.
‘Survival’
Marty Crane: Just remember the old saying: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Niles Crane: But, Dad, not everyone makes it into that second group!
Amen, Frasier writers.
I am not stronger for all that has happened to me. I am more scared, yes. I am also more mentally ill, for sure. I am definitely struggling with life more. I am also more resilient, for sure.
But no, while it did not kill me, it also definitely did not make me stronger.
Does it makes me any less worthy because I haven’t overcome, left it behind me or become stronger?
No.
I am a champ for making it through every day exactly because it did not make me stronger. I am resilient.
It makes us all champs for carrying on despite and amid everything that life has thrown and still throws at us.
We are champs. Not strong, not weak, simply human champs. Resilient human champs.
And tomorrow, we continue to be exactly that.
Sandra Postma
Posted on 20 August 2025 on Substack
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