I know, it’s not easy to put money into ourselves. While we have no trouble treating our loved ones, it’s much harder to treat ourselves.
‘I’m not going to pay that much on a hobby. Imagine the indulgence!’ ‘The house needs a new layer of paint.’ ; The vacuum cleaner is running on its last legs. Better save up for that instead of my own hobby.’
It makes me sad when I hear these arguments.
It’s often either a matter of having to make a choice about where to put our money or the fact that to invest it in ourselves is considered an indulgence.
Sad face emoji.
The Right Money Choice
We have to prioritise in life. Of course we do. Money trees are sadly not real and we cannot do it all or buy it all. Life as well as money is limited.
It means we have to make choices. Choices based on priority.
Food over appliances. Appliances over hobbies. Others over ourselves. Etc.
We all have our own list.
And let’s be real here, often our list is based on expectations of society, not so much on our own wants and desires, and dislikes.
We should have a big screen TV. We should focus on a clean household. I should put them before myself. We should we should we should.
No matter how we think of these matters ourselves.
In a way it makes life easy. It creates a system that many find their way in easily.
But for us creatives this is often not the case.
We don’t fit the usual boxes. We prioritise differently and we value different things.
But living accordingly isn’t so easy.
So we still choose the vacuum cleaner over that writing course. Even if the course brings us a hell of a lot more joy, fulfilment and personal development than the Dirt Scourge 2000. (If you get that reference I am your lifelong friend from this moment on!)
Indulgence…
Whether you have the money or not, investing in ourselves is frowned upon. It is not-done and an indulgence.
Which is why we have to justify when we buy anything for ourselves.
‘I had a success at work! As a celebration, I am finally buying myself that book I’ve wanted since forever.’
‘I underwent a nasty medical test. I will treat myself to some chocolates.’
‘I will finally book myself that holiday once I’ve finished writing that report.’
Putting money into our own joy will only follow an achievement of ours.
‘I haven’t done anything worthwhile so I don’t deserve to indulgence.’
This mindset is exhausting, isn’t it?
Because it tells us we are only allowed to feel joy after we did a not so joyous thing.
Definition of indulgence: an occasion when you allow or do not mind someone’s failure or bad behaviour.
Bad. Behaviour. Failure.
Wooow.
Using ‘indulgence’ in this context tells us we don’t deserve joy because we didn’t contribute or because we weren’t productive. That experiencing joy is a failure and bad behaviour.
Using money to buy something that gives us joy is an ‘indulgence’. Something we don’t need. Bad behavior. A failing…
It implies we should not experience joy. Joy is an indulgence. Creating our own happiness is considered an indulgence.
My God.
We get one life.
One.
Eighty plus years, if we are among the very lucky ones.
And we aren’t allowed to invest in our own joy because we all decided that’s an indulgence, and so bad behaviour.
Let’s put a stop to that mindset RIGHT NOW.
Deserving
We deserve a life of joy, fulfilment and purpose. A life in which we do what fuels us. Whether it is through helping others, treating our loved ones and being good to strangers.
As long as we also look after our own joy and happiness without feeling guilty.
To achieve that, we have to invest in ourselves and stand proudly behind our choice for doing so.
In our hobbies and our creativity. In our jobs and in our personal development.
By fuelling what fuels us. By feeding our loves, desires and hopes.
On books, on paintings, on courses, on coaches, on holidays, on trinkets, on trips and on clothes.
Spend your money on it all.
I will say that again: Spend. Your. Money.
Spend it in a way that makes you happy.
Whether it means you make different choices from now on with the little money you have or whether you use your savings meant for a new TV, remember this is your one life.
Be smart and reasonable, of course. But stop seeing your happiness and joy in life as an indulgence.
Your joy and happiness in life are actually sorely needed. In the world, but also in your relationships to your loved ones. They will love a happy you! They need a happy you.
And let’s be honest, the Dirt Scourge 2000 sounds pretty awesome to have in your house, so if housework is your jam, go for it!
Because that’s the whole point: choose what suits YOU! Not what society tells us does.
We have this one short life. Let’s make it a good one.
One monetary, conscious, joyful choice at a time.
by Sandra Postma | Your Story Mentor
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